The Man Who Cracked Corn and I Definitely Cared

Talk about a shot to the manhood. It really makes me sick...physically sick to my stomach. I mean What the fuck dude. I put so much time and effort in and there it is...my failure...staring me in the face...I can't begin to express how it feels. I don't lose. I should have known it was a lost cause...everyone said so from the start. That just fueled me to push harder. I can't handle it...I can't handle seeing this happen in front of me. I want to go into a coma and not wake up until its over and a new opening shows up. I have this fear that it is legit...that it is set in stone for the near future. How can I face my peers who expect so much of me? I face ridicule for failing at the most basic of our natures. I guess I'm no worse than them, but I hold myself to a better standard than this. I really hope this is just a terrible dream...and soon I'll wake up and it'll be normal.

Its for the best honestly. I have been strapped down in this deadbeat town, in this deadbeat house, with these deadbeat people for way too long...and it was my main reason for staying. I guess my friend was right when he said we should all get together before we're spread across the US.

I'm supposed to leave. I should have already gotten the ball rolling a while back, but I've been so tied to this one goal that it took top priority over everything. everything? everything. Nothing surpassed it. I have a dream of what I should do, I have a realistic vision of what I should do, and I have what certain people want me to do. The Second and Third can be combined and the First and Second can likely be combined. Enough of that.

I don't understand why that can't be me

It's destroying me

Fall of the Cosmonauts (a novella by III)

The following is a conversation between myself and a colleague with an afro discussing the ends and outs of the novel...this is by no means everything but you will get a rough idea of what its about.

ME: Ok so it could be either a novel or a movie or I guess both. It starts out in the modern/future world...you meet the main character and whatnot and you get an idea of what shit's like...then something happens...I'm thinking either a breakthrough is made that makes humans completely moral...or the earth is doomed to end...but either way after the event takes place Cosmonauts (meaning people from space that look exactly like us) descend to Earth. In the first scenario they would welcome us to some universal brotherhood whereas in the second scenario they would step in at the last minute and save us from annihilation and welcome us to aforementioned universal brotherhood. After they are saved they join the Cosmonauts and watch them cultivate a new planet to restart the cycle. Then you get to meet a 2nd main character and find out what their whole deal is in the universal brotherhood. Then something else happens. Either the Second main character(who would be the leader of the universal brotherhood of man) demands everyone worship him as God and we the new humans already understood them as our God and worshipped him. Or a Universal cataclysm strikes...but either way the generation of man our first main character was from will be a very important one and is the last in a big universal cycle. At this point an even higher power intervenes. This would be understood as God of the universe and in the first scenario would demonstrate his almighty power over the imposter second main character (that's where the revelations reverence would come in...second main character becomes the antichrist, the first main character is christ in the second coming, and the last main character is obviously God) and then rescue humanity and in the second scenario he would rescue us in the nick of time and the universe is destroyed only to be restarted again with another big bang. So it would end in a bright flash of light either way....one being that of God and true Heaven which we would only show as a bright white light or a new big bang. Tell me your thoughts..its a work in progress

Durez: dude so is the second main character a cosmonaut? these are not to be confused with russian astronauts, they're just a humanoid species from another part of space/galaxy? i think the breakthrough needs to be something that makes humans completely immoral, not moral, and then this chosen one saves shit...it needs to be like an underlying mission. Then once in space god can show up and things could be explained to the audience in better detail or just from the divines perspective. Theres probably going to have to be some sort of conflict between earth humans who might not even live on earth and with the cosmonauts or even other humanoids or aliens in this brotherhood. Does this brotherhood posess alot of knowledge?

ME: it possesses all the knowledge in the universe. At the end of every cycle they restart civilization on planets with life by sending messengers(hermes from mythology?) to teach them certain essential things. The life is put there from the God character and then the Universal man comes in and teaches it. I feel like the story could go two ways when the Cosmonauts show up...they could either be brought in with humanity's enlightenment or they could just save us from a disaster and so we worship them...get what I'm saying?

like they are good and everything is good or they just save us and we think they are good but they are really bad....either way God is good. I feel like it could keep going deeper too though like there's a bigger God to God or some shit

and the Cosmonauts are ancient generations of humans dating back eons. That's why God intervening in the end is so epic...and that's why the first main character from the beginning is so important...he experienced the end of Earth's cultivation, but then also experienced our Universe's cultivation by an even higher power...two very rare events

Durez: yea dude i get it...they're good they're always good...they're like the keepers of the universe...are these cosmonauts like holy? should humans actually reject them?

if they think the humans are that dumb and try to convince the humans that they should be worshipped then i would say theyre not that good...maybe that could be the conflict. like they're trying to withhold all the knowledge and the smart guy is pissed about it and exposes it to everyone else and then something like that

i dont know what kind of story could take place once humans were given the knowledge, its like it would be over...like once accepted to the brotherhood whats left? maybe we could take over the brotherhood, and thats like exposing humans nature in the first place, a vicious cycle but completely normal for violent humans

ME: I want people after seeing or reading this to come away with a deep message kind of like an Ishmael type thing, you know? I feel like our Christ character can show everyone from Earth that the "Cosmonauts" aren't God because of their basic human natures of corruption and such. That would anger the Overlords and our AntiChrist character a good bit and we could even have our Christ figure go through persecution right before the true Deity intervenes. I was originally thinking that the main Cosmonaut character would be somehow tied spiritually with the main Earth character and then God...they are just different levels of the same entity, you know?...almost like a new way to look at the Trinity

The Father would be the main Cosmonaut...it could even be Adam if you think about it...the first human. The Son would be the Earth character looking at him in a christ way like in the other scenario. The Holy Spirit would then be the True God that is everything and everywhere always because he created it all.

-III

Musings

Nobody reads these so I'll put it how it is.

The topic is going to be off topic and off hand.

2010. Here's to a new decade.

There is a lot of speculation about the world ending. This isn't a new idea.

You could die at this very second, but that doesn't mean you will. Humanity has survived Catastrophes before. If you take modern history at its word After the last Ice Age humans prevailed and started the first civilizations. Maybe we will have to bear the wrath of a Catastrophe, but if history is any reference we will come out of it all better than before.

Where is rock n roll these days? I want something new to just rock out to, you know? Some would say the Soul of Rock n Roll died along with Kurt Cobain...its a hard opinion to prove wrong honestly. The possibility is still there as it ever was, but we (by we I mean the modern rocker) just can't seem to reach the plateau's earlier rock n roll artists climbed musically and spiritually. Its a different game these days......first to sell out is the first to get paid, but hey it beats being broke.

..."I made an offering of great economical sacrifice to our Lord, Money, on High...I believe my blessing will be gratuitous amounts of the holy dollar." "Your Faith in Currency is tremendous, brother" " Money be with you...." "...And also with you"

A thought on the state of the (t)rap game

The promotion of the Trap lifestyle in HipHop and black culture needs to be removed. Its causing yet another generation of young black males to become barely literate reminiscent of the Antebellum days. Look at the President...you don't need that lifestyle to eat and survive like you're told over and over by songs on the Radio (albeit censored versions of course). The sad thing is they don't see the irony is the word Trap. I'm not saying I know the way to live and the way you live is wrong because I honestly don't know. I just think it's sad to see all the effort through the years made for African Americans to have the freedoms European Americans had and then go back to not contributing to society. Young Black Men - don't be afraid to think and don't worry what your boys will say about all your studying and hard work...Let your legitimately made money and Intelligence speak for itself...I want to see a Black Mark Twain...a Black Einstein...a Black Thomas Jefferson. Maybe i'm paying too much attention to race in the first place...

change

Its like this.

Change.

I just can't get over it which is probably one of the many reasons I am still existing in this plane of consciousness. We've only got such a limited time that it makes me think. Not even just concerning our death but the small relative "death" of the old Me and the people he knew and how he acted. The other day I thought about contacting some old friends that I use to have real connections with but things just didn't seem right. I can picture how it would have gone down and it isn't what I wanted. So is the answer to acquire people that I have the same kind of connection with or is all of that just lost? The worst is the one that got away. Or really there's a couple... Its so far gone now that we have nothing in common anymore. Given the fact that obviously there will be bigger, better chances put before me but how I will respond is anyone's guess. But i don't want the models or big city fine ass girls. They wouldn't know me or get me at all. "Oh you so paid, look at all those songs yall done made". While its true that I've got more fans than the average man, I ain't got enough loot to last me to the end of the week. I live by the beat like you check by check. So if it don't move your feet then I don't eat so we're like neck to neck. Andre 3000 knows what he's talking about

to be continued

take a hit from the Truth and pass that Baby Ruth

Last night while I was hitting the blunt I was thinking...

Remember the story of the Temptation of Jesus Christ? Instead of just bowing down to "Satan" and receiving all anyone could want in his lifetime, he chose to be persecuted by those people he could so easily rule for the better of them and everyone. The end.

I wonder how much of that is fact. Of course given that one, God exists...two, Satan exists in some form....and three, Jesus was a real person that walked the Earth.

I can dig the story though. I feel like I can imagine pure evil coming up to me and telling/promising me all of these pleasures I could know if I but only pledge my allegiance.

Then comes the question of what is Good/Evil? Pleasures are a big "evil" yet people all over the globe yearn and hope for them every day. Do you feel bad when you give in to pleasures? No, not at all you feel quite the opposite. You feel happy for, you know ,eating those donuts or whatever your thing is.

It's a confusing thing...being Just. How can we not question "legislation from God". If you don't happen to believe in a universal invisible friend then that legislation is just as corrupt as everything else. How can we know?

on that note...

Raps for your DingDong

Play in the snow, and get your nose all bloody.

Last time I checked my trees grow on money.

I mean my money grows on trees

check the KCJ's yea they come in 3's

Hit up the ladies, toss Fro the keys

gettin in for free, damn its good to be me.

I mean its good to be free, though

Mr. 17.5 , call me Mr. Kilo

You know we don't even feed hoes

Drop them off and then we speed home

Money is what we after, get it right

Hoes don't play a factor, til the end of the night

Drugs get you high and put you right out of sight

Feds will lock you up, better keep that butthole tight!

at the height of the white i'll be up all night. Out of sight i'm alright but i'm high as a kite.